Facebook is like a fish hook, once you’re on it it’s not easy to get off. Nowadays everything that matters happens on Facebook, in some countries when they say internet, they mean Facebook. In this respect, there’s surely plenty of room for improvement in backward Eastern Europe. But Facebook does make Hungarian names more trendy by reversing them in an Indo-European style: Istvánné Kovács is surely more appealing than the outmoded Kovács Istvánné.
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Facebook facilitates communication. It brings social life to places where it was not present before. You can message your friends while sitting on the toilet, or share your thoughts with the world in a hermit’s cave. The more friends you have on Facebook, the cooler you are. Facebook allows you to interact with your friends without a disturbing smell of sweat. You don’t even have to strain your vocal cords, just let your fingers do the talking. In this manner, Facebook eliminates gossip. Facebook lets you know about an array of cultural events that you don’t go to, because then you wouldn’t have time to be on Facebook. But you still say you’ll participate so this way you can experience those events in your imagination. And sometimes you do go, in which case you can check your FB page on the bus and at the concert.
Using Facebook reduces your phone bill; saving you from having to call your friends the old-fashioned way, distracting them from being on FB. You simply publish everything you want to communicate to others on Facebook.
Through Facebook you can also find world news, at least the ones that it doesn’t block. Facebook helps you to separate the Truth (Правда) from fake news, allowing you to put your energy into decent consumption, such as reading news allowed on Facebook. The dread these news create will make you lose weight and become slim thus Facebook is good for your health. Since humans are group creatures, there are many groups on Facebook to join where you can socialize. You can read people’s informative news, their balanced, deep thoughts, see a photo of their stool of the day, and read a series of insightful comments. After this who would want to get up from their screens?
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Not only is Facebook a cure for loneliness, but its positive impact on society is significant. While on Facebook, you don’t steal, so it improves crime statistics. You don't cut down trees, which means you reduce global warming. It would also be difficult to fight while holding a phone in your hand, thus Facebook promotes peace and understanding. Given all these benefits, it would be advisable to set a daily compulsory minimum Facebook time for all citizens.
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Facebook addiction also has the advantage of being less harmful than, for example, heroin addiction. It does not even require a hypodermic needle, merely a computer or a telephone, through which you can’t get tuberculosis or AIDS. And Facebook doesn't cost much money, only time, which is all right, since you can still take care of your body by eating a healthy pizza slice ordered through Facebook while being on Facebook. This way you don’t lose time and can check how many likes you got for your new photo posing in front of the museum in Auschwitz.
The uncluttered page of Facebook reveals the many exciting faces of the world. Scroll down: a moving account from a girl miraculously escaping from North Korea. You are moved by the suffering and human survival power, but there’s no stopping; here comes an ad for a women’s sanitary pad, a cute kitties video, a humanity-will-be-extinct-by-2072-if-we-don’t-do-something message, the dangers of gluten, exciting evening programs and so on. The wealth of quick information gives you a real sense of depth.
Facebook is indispensable as it literally means the Book of Faces.
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We rarely look each other in the face today, not only to avoid losing face, but also because we are buried in our phones. We don’t read books, because then we’d have less time to scroll. Thank goodness, Facebook brings both faces and books back to our lives. Every person’s face is an open book — and now so are their lives. Authorities, employers and secret services are particularly fond of Facebook, as they can find out just about everything they want to know about us. This is particularly useful if you are a dictator or the head of HR in a multinational company.
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Facebook, like all successful inventions, provokes a substantial amount of avarice. The greedy losers cry foul: that Facebook is the cause of the mental breakdown of teenagers, that its fast spread is due to a deal with US intelligence services, that it hinders free speech, that it became a modern version of censorship. All those untrue accusations hurled at Facebook by its critics are not even worth listing. Some even dare to claim that Facebook manipulates political elections with personalized ads, or that it collects information not only from those who are using it, but from everyone. True greatness is not bothered by the grumbling of those lacking talent. The dog barks, the caravan moves on. It is not for nothing that the founder of Facebook went from a university student with an autistic face to one of the richest and most influential men in the world. It is not for nothing that he found his place among the ranks of great, respected geniuses.
Source: Wikipedia
Hungarians can also be proud of Mark Zuckerberg, as his puli (Hungarian shepherd dog) called Beast has more than two million followers on Facebook. This clearly indicates that the growth of Facebook will not stop with humans. Gazelles also have a chance to post how a bumbling cheetah was made a fool of. Amoebas can post about the latest trends in pseudopods while blue-green algae — I don’t know what blue-green algae would post about, as they haven’t sent a friend request yet.
Facebook is one of the few tech giants having a gigantic influence on our lives. Some woebegone people don’t like that either. Why, was Gulliver better off in the land of giants? Not to mention the Gulag and the Inquisition. The worst that can happen is that someone gets hunted down by drone by one of the US secret services on the basis of information passed on by Facebook, but that doesn’t concern us too much, since it’s mostly only done in the third world. Why did that person not behave properly? If he’d watched the news on Facebook instead of harboring rebellious ideas, he’d still be alive. And those other people who happened to be passing by would have been fine if they had stayed at home posting on Facebook instead of loitering around.
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Of course, the Chinese, copiers of everything, had to make their own Facebook, Tik-Tok. Obviously, Tik-Tok has a so-called ‘back door’, i.e. it transmits all information to Chinese intelligence services, unlike Facebook, which certainly does not release any data to those anti-democratic, rotten-egg- and bird-nest-eating Chinese. That is why, in the USA, the cradle of democracy, the land of the free, the home of the brave, Tik-Tok has been banned, so that it won’t keep ticking in people’s ears, showing all those children bombed to shreds in the concentration camp of Gaza, which would disturb the dreams of decent people.
With Facebook, a glorious new age of humanity has dawned. We cannot rule out the possibility that Facebook conveys messages from God, just as the tablets of stone did for Moses. The spiritual significance of Facebook is shown by the fact that the name of its founder and leader means Sugar Mountain, while his first name is simply Mark, showing he was marked by a higher power. This is nothing but a Sign calling us every morning when we turn on Facebook and say our morning prayers.